One of Those Cute and "Harmless" Quotes

Do you know those little one or two-liners that people use on public profiles? You know the little "truisms" that are über cute and talk about love or life or peace or friendship or perseverance or.....

Like "live.love.laugh" or "my friends are everything" etc.

I find a lot of them to be quite silly to be honest.

Today, I noticed one that actually bothers me to the extent that I was inclined to write about it. It's the kind of quote that I think people use to help themselves move on from less than favorable circumstances. It's one of those little sayings that puts the focus on how important an individual is to themselves. I love the person I got this from, but I fear I must disagree with this little proverb.

"Forget about those in your past. They weren't important enough to make it to your future."

This statement bothers me because it makes it seem as though anyone that does not stay in someone's life deems them unimportant and ultimately makes it seem as if anyone not associated with whoever says this is less of a person that the speaker. This seems extremely arrogant to me. I think to all the wonderful individuals I have known in the years I have been alive. Some of those wonderful individuals aren't as close to me as they have been in the past. That emotional distance is due to physical distance, to different interests, to other various circumstances. If a person has found a home in a different group of friends than me, it doesn't mean that the person is UNIMPORTANT, rather that they just play a smaller physical role in my life. I never want to forget about my past. How can I move forward without a place to move from? There would be no place with which to judge the relative word "forward."

I tend to play the "what if" game a lot. What if I had gone to a different college? What if I focused more on the sports I played earlier in high school or had different friends at a given point in my life. What if I never sang? What if I never got an online profile? What if I had dated so-and-so? Would my relationships with the people I was near have been different? Yes. Yes they would have.

While writing this I am sitting in a vacant classroom in Berlin. My life has been a culmination of different scenarios, decisions, beliefs, circumstances, etc. and all of these things have shaped a path that I have walked to be here. I have made plenty of mistakes. I have angered and hurt individuals. I have attempted to love and build up individuals. I have spent time in meditation and debate over how I perceive the world around me. In all of this, the LAST thing I want to do is FORGET my past and consider those no longer playing a large role as UNIMPORTANT.

I could truly rant about this for pages and pages and pages, but all it will lead to is an essay suspended in juxtaposition with a bitterness towards the neglect of the past and a reverence and appreciation for each heart I have come into contact with. In light of this, I will conclude this piece with some final statements.

Reader, due to the means of which you are reading this, I probably cannot see your face at the time your eyes fix upon these words. I will probably also not be able to know who you are when you read this by the time the image of these words goes through the synapses of your brain as a signal that travels to the places where you derive meaning from these words. Since I am unable to interact with you personally (because I am using my imagination at this point - a vacant classroom is not a place to see this image with my two eyes), I will have to make a vague statement that I mean with all my heart:
if you are reading this, you have had some contact with me in your life. If you came across this by chance, you are interacting with a moment in my life perhaps not knowing who I am, but there is still an interaction to be had, even in the small degree of the word.
In light of this, you should recognize that you are loved. Extraordinarily and deeply loved. I believe there is a Love that transcends this world that is yours to have. In addition to that all-consuming love, I will say that I will try to love you as best as I can. The reality of the world is that you may not be my closest of friends. Or perhaps you are a close friend and you will not remain there. Or perhaps years and years from now we will (still?) be as close as two friends can be. Whatever the case, I want you to know that I will NOT forget you. You are NOT unimportant. If you have drifted from me, if we don't talk, if we do talk, if I do not know your name, if I know your deepest secrets, I will say that you are important and loved. People hurt people, this is a fact of life, but rather than be bitter of the people that are no longer close to us, I say move on in joy of the friends that you have currently. That does not mean that you have to be bitter to those hearts you knew before, but rather respect them and wish them well in the life they lead. What a different world this would be if everyone truly wished genuine happiness for those around them. I aspire to live like that. I fail daily - ask some of the multitudes that want nothing to do with me anymore, - but I still try. I am the product of a crazy Love that was given to me not because of my worth before it (rather I HAVE worth because of it). May you be loved no matter what stage of life you are in. There is always beauty to be had, don't allow bitterness to ruin that in your life.

- Ian M. Charbonnet